Mar 22

Windscreen Warriors

by LifeLoveLaura on March 22, 2014

I was driving along a busy main road yesterday when a lady in a little apple green car was indicating to pull out of her parking space at the side of the road. Being the courteous driver that I am, I slowed down and signalled for her to pull out, smiling at her. Some time passed and she was still sitting there, signalling. I smiled and signalled again thinking she maybe hadn’t seen me. She remained sitting there. “FOR FUCK’S SAKE” spilled out of my mouth whilst driving around her, scowling. I then thought to myself, there really wasn’t any need for me to do that was there?

I am always guilty of this in car road rage, often screaming blue murder at other drivers. To be fair, some people need it. Whether they drive too hesitantly or too arrogantly (I’m looking at you BMW saloon drivers, do you not know where your indicators are?) they are a danger to others and need telling. Most of the time though, we shout because people are taking too long to pull in or out of somewhere. They take too long to get going at traffic lights or they’re going too slow in general. All quite inoffensive really. Is there really any need for us drivers to be so aggressive, flinging about our arms and screwing up our faces at others, the international sign for “you’ve pissed me off with your driving.”



Last night was a perfect example of this. A bus stopped in front of me to let some people hop on. I couldn’t over take it as there was something coming but the waiting didn’t matter to me, I didn’t have anywhere to be. The knob in the car behind me had other ideas and beeped their horn a few times at me to go anyway, I can only imagine coupled with a “stupid cow,” probably something a bit stronger. “FUCK OFF” I shouted in my car and flicked them the V’s in my rear view mirror. Did they not see that there was something coming or did they want me play head on chicken? I have no idea but it really annoyed me and my swearing was cathartic in this situation. I hope they saw me.

I’m also not shy to use my car horn, if it needs to be used that is. I don’t just use it willy nilly but I do also have a habit of using it for other people – Big T, for example. He isn’t as fiery as me, he won’t use his horn. I have been known to beep it for him whilst he’s been driving which gets his back up. Whenever I do it he gives me the lecture of “if they get out of their car to have a go at us it’ll be me they beat up, not you!” My usual answer to that is “bring it on,” but he’s probably right. He’s been watching too much Men Behaving Badly…¬†Fast forward to 10 minutes, you’ll see exactly what I mean!

You see it all the time, people screaming at each other through their car windows. It’s something Big T and I really need to work on, especially now Little T is in the back of the car taking everything in like a big sponge! It does makes me wonder, if you were walking through Meadowhall on a busy Saturday and people were dawdling along too slowly (you know it well right?) do you scream “GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY!” at them? No, you don’t. If you did you’d no doubt be thrown out on your arse by security. You would think it to yourself or mutter something under your breath whilst waiting for a gap in the crowd to whizz round, doing the polite British thing of saying “excuse me please,” whilst you do the whizzing. What makes it acceptable for us to F and blind at each other behind our windscreens? Whilst we’re all guilty of it, I do wonder why we think we’re meatheads behind a piece of glass when face to face most of us are puppy dogs…

Laura x

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Amy March 22, 2014 at 10:47 am

Hahahaha! I could’ve written this myself!! I am literally the worst for road rage. I once gave a guy in his Porsche on the M11 the tiny penis finger as he’d been up my bum despite clearly seeing I couldn’t get over to the middle lane. Cue him slowing down and gesticulating wildly at me whilst overtaking, leaning over his bimbo girlfriend whilst doing 80mph. Haha! I literally have so many stories of road rage. One of them my dad has made me swear never to tell my mum!
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LifeLoveLaura March 22, 2014 at 7:45 pm

Amy, I neeeeed to hear this secret story!!


Grethe tozer March 22, 2014 at 11:22 pm

I’m quite glad I can’t drive , I have no patience whatsoever , I think I’d be forever beeping my horn.
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LifeLoveLaura March 23, 2014 at 9:12 am

Haha you could always beep it for others ;)


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